FIRST!
by ichiruki45
Summary: WARNING! THIS IS A COMPLETELY RANDOM THING! This also happens to be my first story, so PLEASE be gentle. When Yamamoto decides to a contest to help the captains with stress, what will he have in store in this contest? HORRILBE SUMMARY I know
1. The contest

FIRST!

It was a normal day in the Seireitei. It was because of this normal day that Yamamoto decided to change a few things. It started off as a captain's meeting.

"Okay captains, for the next 13 days or so, we will be doing something that hasn't ever been done in the history of Soul Society. We will be having a First contest!"

Okay, by a few things, I mean, _a lot _of things.

All the captains were shocked, to say the least. You could tell by the looks on all there faces. Even Byakuya, Soi fon, and Toshiro, the ones who never show _any_ emotions, had looked liked someone had just slapped them with a fish.

"What I mean is" he continued," since things are _always _the same, I thought it would take some of the stress I know some of you have."

"I have a question." said Soi Fon. "What the HELL is a _First _contest?"

"Ah, good question. A First contest is where you try to think and do something no one has ever done before." explained the sou-taicho.

"I also have a question." said Toshiro. "Do we _have _to do this, or do we have a choice?"

"Yes, you have to do this. All of you have to. If it makes you feel any better, I will be doing this, too." said Yamamoto.

"When does this contest start?" asked Komamura.

"We will be starting this next week. The rules of this contest shall be given to you tomorrow. You are dismissed." after saying this, Yamamoto watched as all of the captains left the room. After seeing them all leave, he then turned around and said, " All right, their gone. You can come out now."

When this was said, a certain busty strawberry blond lieutenant fell from a roof tile (but of course landed on her feet) and faced the old man.

"Lieutenant Matsumoto, are you pleased now?" asked the leader of all soul reapers.

"Hai, sir. Thank you for doing this, sir." replied Rangiku.

You see, what's going on is that Rangiku asked the sou-taicho if he could try and do something about her taicho's stress, saying that it has risen much since Aizen's betrayal. Once she said this, however, Yamamoto thought about how _all _the taicho's stress levels (leaving out Kenpachi and Mayuri, of course) have most likely have done the same. So when he thought about a solution, he thought about the contest, which he and all the other captains are now attending.

"_Well",_ he thought,"_it's going to be one HELL of a contest."_


	2. Rules of the contest

IM GIVING A SHOT OUT FOR YEMI HIKARI FOR THE ADVICE AND KIND WORDS! And peachysnowFan, if you're reading this continue reading to find out why I called the fic 'first'.

So sorry about this but im not sure that I can put that much 'humor' in this chapter, seeing how its only the RULES of the contest and no one's really doing anything. But I promise that I will have the characters doing some pretty strange things.

Oh, and sorry about not warning you readers last chapter, but there is a large amount of ooc in this story.

I WILL **NEVER** OWN BLEACH!

"_Oh, s***, its tomorrow already," _was the thought going through Toshiro's head as he woke the morning after Yamamoto's announcement about his 'first contest'. _"Why the f*** are we doing this thing, anyway? I see no point in making the captains do this, but _here we are_, getting up at 4 in the morning. And why so f****** early?"_ But little does he know that some of the other captains were having thoughts not too far from his.

Take Soi Fon, for example.

"_F*** that old b******. Even _I _dont usually wake up this early. And for a G** damn captains meeting about _contests _of all things,". _Needless to say, Soi Fon was _not_ the happiest captain that morning.

Byakuya wasnt much better.

"_Im going to f****** kill that nut case one day,". _And Byakuya wasnt a morning person. Or, at the least, he would prefer waking up at 7. But since it was an order from the sou-taicho, he really didnt have a say in the matter.

But, at point or another, all the captains thought this thought:

"_This thing better be worth it."_

When all the captains were in there rightful places in line, Yamamoto began."As you remember from yesterday, I told you all that I would be giving the rules of the contest to you all. And im going to give them now

"The rules are:

One: The captain and lieutenant _must_ do an idea together. The only people the captain and lieutenant are able to help are each other.

Two: You are not allowed to copy another division's idea. If one division has one idea, no one else may use that one idea.

Three: You _must _have video/audio proof that you've done something of some kind. You cant just come here and say you did something when you might not have.

four: _no one can seriously injured in your idea_:Yamamoto said this particular rule to Kenpachi

Five: Somewhere in the video/audio, you _must _say the word 'FIRST'. If it not said then it doesnt count.

Six: Your idea _must _be something you have never done before, else it would be pointless to say 'FIRST'

_'THIS WHOLE THING IS F****** POINTLESS!' _thought, surprisingly, Unohana.

"Are those all the rules?" asked Shunsui Kyoraku.

"Yes, that concludes all the rules. Are there any questions?" Yamamoto said looking around the room.

"Yes, I have one. May we get ideas from watching something from the human world?" asked Jushiro Ukitake.

" Yes, you may get your idea from anywhere, just not anyone. Anymore questions?" answered the old man.

"Is there a prize and if there is what is it?" Soi Fon asked.

"Yes, there is a prize and the prize is 2 months without paperwork." the old man said. " any last questions?

"Can we go back to sleep?" asked Kenpachi. He was ready to fall asleep standing up where he was, along with half the other captains.

"Yes, you may all go back and rest. Good luck." all the captains then shupoed out the room and to there rightful divisions. Some of the captain's earlier thoughts were now changed aleast some.

Like how some were now thinking about the prize._"Still dont see why we got up so early. But still, I guess I should be thinking about this contest if I want that prize. Two whole months with no paperwork! Two months of sleep. Or training. Whichever I need the most. But first, I gotta win this thing. This had turned out to be more interesting than I thought." _was pretty much all the captains thoughts before they all went back to sleep.

Author notes

HEY THERE TO ALL READERS!

If you think the story was bad, im sorry, but its like 2:47 am and im REALLY sleepy. I hope my writing skills are better when im fully awake

PLEASE REVIEW! It gives me motivation. IT COULD EVEN BE A FLAME! Just leave SOME kind of proof that you've read this


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